How the “Three Rs” Can Help You Build Better Habits
For many Nigerians living in the UK, life can be a whirlwind of work, family obligations, bills, and cultural adjustments. With all this going on, it’s easy to pick up bad habits—comfort eating, skipping workouts, doom-scrolling on your phone, or avoiding that GP appointment.
But June is Men’s Mental Health Month, and it’s a great time to take a step back and ask: What habits are helping me? And which ones are holding me back?
Instead of beating yourself up over bad habits, it’s more effective to understand them—and replace them with better ones. That’s where the “Three Rs” come in: Reminder, Routine, and Reward.
What Are the Three Rs?
Every habit—good or bad—follows a loop:
- Reminder: What triggers the habit (e.g., a certain time, place, mood)?
- Routine: The action you take (e.g., reaching for chin chin or puff-puff).
- Reward: The benefit (e.g., comfort, distraction, pleasure).
For example:
It’s 9 p.m. (Reminder) → You grab a sugary snack while watching Nollywood (Routine) → You feel a brief mood lift (Reward).
To change this habit, you don’t just focus on the snack. You look at why you’re reaching for it, when it happens, and what you can do instead that still gives you some kind of reward.
Why This Matters for Naija Men in the UK
According to mental health experts, men often struggle with motivation once they’re past the “hustle” stage of life. And for Naija men in the UK, cultural pressures, long hours, and limited time for self-care can add extra layers of stress.
“It’s natural to want to relax after a long day,” says Margaret Moore, co-director of the Institute of Coaching at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital. “But real energy and vitality come from investing in healthy routines—even in small ways.”
Start With Motivation and Confidence
Before you try to change anything, check in with yourself:
- Is this change important to me personally—or am I doing it for someone else?
- Do I believe I can actually make it happen?
Rate your motivation and confidence on a scale of 1–10. You want a 6 or higher for both. If your numbers are low, scale back the goal.
Example: If you want to quit smoking but feel unsure, try reducing how much you smoke first. Build confidence by starting small—then aim higher.
Spot the Triggers
Let’s say you’ve got a habit of drinking soft drinks every evening.
Look for patterns in the three Rs:
- Reminder: After dinner
- Routine: You open the fridge and grab a Coke
- Reward: Sweet taste + relaxation
Write down your own triggers over 3–5 days using these categories:
- Location (Where are you?)
- Time (What time is it?)
- Mood (How are you feeling?)
- People (Are you alone or with others?)
- Previous Action (What happened just before?)
You might notice: “I only snack when I’m home alone at night and feeling stressed.” That’s powerful insight.
Swap the Routine, Keep the Reward
Don’t punish yourself—replace the routine with a healthier one that still feels rewarding.
Instead of:
Late-night ice cream = comfort
Try:
Hot cup of zobo or tea = warmth and calm
10-minute walk + music = mood lift
Call a friend = connection
If you’re craving the act of eating, have healthy snacks ready: roasted groundnuts, carrot sticks, sliced apples, or low-fat yoghurt.
Make a Plan (and Keep It Real)
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life. Choose one habit and follow these steps:
- Identify the trigger.
- Change the routine.
- Choose a reward that still makes you feel good.
- Track your progress and adjust as needed.
You might find that watching TV at 9 p.m. always leads to unnecessary snacking. Try watching earlier or swapping the show time for a relaxing activity—like praying, journaling, or planning your next Jollof cook-off.
Bottom Line
Changing habits isn’t about willpower—it’s about strategy. When you break down your habits into reminder, routine, and reward, you gain the power to shift them. And over time, those small shifts can have a huge impact on your mental health, energy, and overall well-being.
So this Men’s Mental Health Month, choose just one habit to improve—and take that first step toward a healthier you. Your future self (and maybe your family too) will thank you.
Naija UK Connect is here to support Nigerians in the UK with mental health, parenting, and financial wellbeing content that speaks to your lifestyle. Stay tuned for more!
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