Parenting in the UK can feel different from back home. Children here grow up in a mix of Nigerian values and British culture, and the words we use as parents can shape how confident, secure, and respected they feel.
Research in child development shows that kids are highly sensitive to what parents say—it impacts their self-esteem, emotions, and even how they relate to others. Here are five common Nigerian parenting phrases to drop—and what to say instead.
1. “Because I said so.”
Yes, it ends arguments quickly, but it leaves children feeling powerless. Instead, explain briefly:
👉🏾 “We need to leave now because the park is closing.”
This makes kids feel respected and teaches them reasoning, not just obedience.
2. “Why can’t you be more like your siblings?”
Comparisons are common in Nigerian homes, but they often create resentment and low self-esteem. Try instead:
👉🏾 “I love how unique you are.”
This builds confidence and helps every child feel valued for who they are.
3. “Stop crying, it’s not a big deal.”
Dismissing emotions teaches children to hide their feelings. Instead, acknowledge:
👉🏾 “I see you’re upset. Let’s figure this out together.”
This builds emotional intelligence and trust.
4. “You will never understand, you’re just a kid.”
Children may not have adult experience, but their thoughts are still valid. Listening shows respect.
👉🏾 “I hear what you’re saying, let’s talk about it.”
This creates open communication instead of shutting them down.
5. “You’re so dramatic/lazy/shy.”
Labels stick—even if you don’t mean them harshly. Instead of labels, describe what you notice:
👉🏾 Instead of “lazy,” say, “I see homework feels hard today—let’s find a way to make it easier.”
Why This Matters for Nigerians in the UK 🇳🇬🇬🇧
Raising kids in the UK comes with unique challenges. While Nigerian culture values discipline and respect, UK-born children are also growing up in a society that emphasises explanation, communication, and emotional wellbeing. Balancing both worlds means choosing words that discipline without damaging, and correct without comparing.
By replacing harsh or dismissive phrases with encouragement and understanding, Nigerian parents can:
✅ Build stronger bonds with their kids
✅ Raise confident, well-adjusted children
✅ Pass down values without losing trust
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