Tired of Tantrums? 7 Parenting Shifts That Actually Work (For Nigerians in the UK)

Parenting is not easy—especially for Nigerians in the UK who are juggling work, bills, and adjusting to life abroad. Between chasing deadlines and raising kids in a different culture, many parents feel stretched thin.

And then come the tantrums—the crying, screaming, refusing to listen. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. The good news is, there are proven parenting shifts that can help calm the chaos and raise emotionally strong, well-balanced children.

Research shows that kids who learn emotional regulation early tend to do better in school, form stronger friendships, and grow into more confident adults. Here are 7 simple but powerful parenting shifts you can try at home:

1. Practice Self-Parenting First

Children often mirror our emotions. If you come home stressed from work, take a few minutes to breathe, relax, or even pray before engaging with your kids. Managing your own reactions first sets the tone for a calmer home.

2. Validate Feelings, Not Behaviour

Instead of jumping straight into correction when your child throws a tantrum, acknowledge their feelings first:

• “I know you’re upset that playtime is over.”
• “I understand it’s hard when we can’t get what we want.”
  This doesn’t mean allowing bad behaviour—it means showing empathy, which makes them more willing to listen.

3. Create Quiet Moments

Our kids are surrounded by screens, gadgets, and endless stimulation. Create intentional quiet time—like a few minutes without devices after school, a silent car ride, or just sitting together. These small pauses teach focus, calm, and reflection.

4. Encourage Creative Expression

Nigerian parents often focus on academics (and rightly so), but children also need outlets for their emotions. Activities like drawing, music, or even simple DIY crafts can help them express feelings in healthy ways.

5. Tell Inspiring Stories

In Nigerian culture, stories have always been powerful tools. Share tales of great people—whether local heroes, inventors, or community leaders. This not only entertains but also instils values like courage, kindness, and resilience.

6. Connect Before You Correct

Disciplining during a meltdown rarely works. Instead, offer a hug, sit at their level, and help them calm down first. Once they feel safe, then you can talk about what went wrong and how to do better next time.

7. Teach Them to Outsmart the “Brain Bully”

Help your child separate themselves from negative thoughts by naming them. Call it the “Worry Monster” or the “Brain Bully.” When your child says, “I can’t do this,” you can respond, “That sounds like the Brain Bully—what can we say back to it?” This builds resilience and self-confidence.

💡 Naija UK Connect Tip: Parenting abroad comes with unique challenges. Balancing Nigerian values with the realities of UK life requires patience and adaptability. By making small daily shifts, you’ll not only manage tantrums better but also raise children who feel loved, secure, and confident in who they are.

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