As Nigerian parents in the UK, we all want our children to succeed — not just with good grades or high-paying jobs, but to grow into well-rounded, confident, and happy adults.
According to Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, success has less to do with academic records and more to do with executive function skills — the kind that help us navigate life’s wahala and unexpected turns.
For Naija teens growing up in a fast-paced, tech-heavy, culturally different environment like the UK, these skills are even more essential.
Here are 5 core skills every Nigerian teen in the UK needs — and how you, as a parent or guardian, can encourage them.
1. Planning
What it is: The ability to set realistic goals and follow through.
Why it matters: Teens in the UK face serious pressure to balance schoolwork, friendships, social media, and identity. Helping them plan now prepares them for uni, job interviews, and even future japa strategies.
How to support:
- Instead of micromanaging, set basic rules (e.g., 8 hours of sleep, screen limits, family check-ins), and let them manage their time.
- Let them plan trips, family outings, or events — and give them real input.
- Walk them through long-term tasks like GCSE prep or UCAS applications, but let them lead.
2. Focus
What it is: The power to concentrate and complete tasks, even with distractions.
Why it matters: With TikTok, Instagram, and WhatsApp constantly pinging, focus is harder than ever. It’s a skill — and it must be built.
How to support:
- Have screen-free times: during meals, prayer, or family meetings.
- Encourage off-screen hobbies like sewing, cooking, painting, or sports.
- Talk openly about the downside of endless scrolling and help them create boundaries.
3. Self-Control
What it is: Managing emotions and reactions, even when things are frustrating.
Why it matters: Naija teens in the UK may face racism, peer pressure, or culture clashes. Learning how to stay grounded is critical.
How to support:
- Model calm behaviour — they’re watching how you handle stress.
- After meltdowns or arguments, talk it out: what happened, what they could do next time.
- Teach calm-down tricks — deep breaths, short walks, journaling, or even shouting into a pillow (yes, really!).
4. Awareness
What it is: Understanding others’ emotions and seeing where you fit in.
Why it matters: UK teens often juggle Naija values at home and British culture outside. Awareness helps them navigate identity, friendships, and future ambitions.
How to support:
- Talk about current events — and how different communities might view them.
- Involve them in community service or faith-based outreach — help them see the impact they can have.
- Have regular family check-ins where everyone shares their thoughts (e.g., over Sunday lunch or Jollof night).
5. Flexibility
What it is: The ability to adapt when things don’t go as planned.
Why it matters: Whether it’s failing a class, not getting a job, or being rejected by a friend — life happens. Flexibility helps teens bounce back.
How to support:
- Don’t make every setback a crisis. Let them make small mistakes and learn.
- Be open to switching plans. If something goes wrong, show them how to adjust and move forward.
- Encourage them to be spontaneous sometimes — life isn’t always by the book.
Letting Go to Let Them Grow
We know it’s hard — especially as Naija parents used to doing “follow my way.” But sometimes, the best thing you can do is not rush in to save them. Let them try. Let them fail. Then help them figure it out. You’ll be amazed what they learn about themselves.
Whether your child dreams of being a doctor, creative, engineer, or the next Afrobeats star — these life skills are the real foundation for a strong future.
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