Parenting in the UK can be tough — between busy work schedules, the rising cost of living, and adjusting to life abroad, many Nigerian parents often find themselves juggling multiple pressures. On top of that, raising emotionally strong, well-adjusted children is a priority for every family.
The good news? Research shows that small, consistent parenting shifts can make a huge difference in reducing tantrums and building calmer homes.
Here are 7 parenting habits every Nigerian parent in the UK can try:
1. Practise Self-Parenting (Manage Your Own Reactions)
Children learn by watching us. If you come home from work tired and frustrated, pause before reacting. Take a walk, listen to music, or even pray to centre yourself before engaging with your kids. A calm parent helps create a calm home.
2. Validate the Feeling, Not the Behaviour
When your child cries because playtime is over, instead of snapping, try: “I know it’s disappointing when we can’t keep playing.” This doesn’t mean you allow bad behaviour, but it helps your child feel understood — making them more open to correction.
3. Create Intentional Quiet Time
Life in the UK can feel overstimulating — school, devices, noise everywhere. Build small pockets of quiet: a short walk in the park, device-free dinners, or a silent car ride. These moments teach children to manage their thoughts and find calm within.
4. Nurture Expression Beyond Words
Not all children can fully express themselves in English, Yoruba, Igbo, or Pidgin. Help them express emotions through creative outlets — drawing, storytelling, drumming, or dance. These activities help release feelings and build emotional resilience.
5. Share Stories of Great Role Models
Introduce your kids to inspiring Nigerians and Black British figures — from Mary Seacole to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Use books, bedtime stories, or even Nollywood films to instil values like courage, kindness, and resilience.
6. Connect Before You Correct
When your child is mid-tantrum, shouting back or lecturing rarely works. Instead, kneel down, hug them, or hold their hand until they calm down. Once their emotions settle, then explain what went wrong and how to handle it better next time.
7. Name and Tame the “Brain Bully”
Teach kids to see negative thoughts as separate from themselves. Call it a “Worry Monster” or “Brain Bully.” When your child says, “I’m not good at this,” reply with, “That sounds like the Brain Bully talking. What can we say back?” This builds confidence and self-control.
Final Word for Nigerian Parents in the UK
Adopting these shifts won’t just reduce tantrums — they’ll also help your children grow into emotionally strong and confident individuals, while making your parenting journey less stressful. Remember: calm, connection, and consistency go a long way.
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