šø Not everything is as it seems on the surface
In the UK, where parenting often feels like a raceābetween school runs, packed lunches, and endless WhatsApp groupsāitās easy to think other parents have it all together. You scroll through Instagram and see polished photos of birthday parties, quiet study sessions, or perfectly dressed kids. But letās be honestāna only highlights dem dey show. The tantrums, missed homework, or midnight cries? Those donāt make the cut.
As Nigerians, we sometimes carry cultural expectations that add even more pressure. But remember: behind every āperfectā family photo is a reality thatās just as messy as yours. š Donāt let edited moments make you question your own journey.
š¶š¾ Every child has their own pathāno be competition
Just because someoneās 4-year-old is reading Shakespeare doesnāt mean yours should too š. Nigerian parents often come with high expectationsā”When I was your age…” sound familiar? š
But children grow at different paces. Some talk early, some walk late. Some struggle with maths but shine in music or art š¶.
Parenting in the UK comes with a unique blend of Nigerian values and Western systems. Comparing your child to othersāespecially in a different cultural settingācan rob both of you of peace. āš¾ Your job is to support, not to score š.
š Comparison fuels guiltānot growth
You might think a little comparison can push you to do better, but more often than not, it just brings guilt š. You start questioning your choices: āShould I have enrolled them in Kumon? Maybe Iām not doing enoughā¦ā
Instead of feeling inspired, you feel burdened. That guilt? It steals the joy from small wins. Parenting isnāt a competitionāitās a connection ā¤ļø. Focus on learning and growing with your child, not keeping up with others š.
š Your strengths matterāeven the quiet ones
Some mums are great at organizing Pinterest-worthy birthdays š. Some dads are pros at homework time š. Good for them. But maybe youāre the one who makes your child feel safe at night šļø or teaches them resilience when life gets hard šŖš¾.
As Naija parents abroad, we often compare ourselves with both our UK peers and family back home. But we forget to honour our own strengthsāespecially the small, powerful ones like listening šš¾, comforting š¤, and simply being present š§š¾.
š§ Donāt sacrifice emotional health trying to ākeep upā
Trying to match everyone elseās parenting pace will wear you out š®āšØ. And once burnout sets in, your connection with your child quietly suffers š. Itās okay to take a break š. Itās okay to not have it all figured out.
A mentally and emotionally strong parent is far more valuable than a āperfectā one āØ. Rest š¤. Breathe š¬ļø. Be kind to yourself š. Thatās where your strength lies.
šØāš©āš§āš¦ Parenting isnāt a formulaāitās a relationship
Thereās no one-size-fits-all. What works in another Nigerian home in London might not work in yours š . Culture, personalities, and family dynamics matter š§©. Donāt be quick to copy and paste parenting hacks from othersāespecially if they donāt fit your unique context.
True parenting wisdom comes from knowing your child, your values, and your rhythm as a family š„.
š£ļø Final word for the Naija UK Connect community:
Weāre all figuring this outāone day, one child, one meal at a time š². Letās encourage each other, not compete š¤. Share honestly, laugh through the chaos š, and remember: youāre not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be. šš¾
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