Cutting and Self-Harm Among Teens: What Nigerian Families in the UK Need to Know

Self-harm may seem unthinkable to many Nigerian parents, especially those raising teens in the UK. But it’s a growing issue — and understanding it is the first step to protecting our children.

Experts, like Harvard’s Professor Matthew Nock, explain that for many teens, self-harm (like cutting) isn’t about seeking attention or even attempting suicide — it’s a way to manage emotional pain they can’t express.

So how can Nigerian parents in the UK recognise the signs and support their children?

What Is Self-Harm?

Self-harm is when a person deliberately injures themselves — usually by cutting, burning, or inserting objects under the skin — without intending to die. Most often, it’s a coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions like stress, sadness, or anger.

While taboo in many African households, it’s more common than you may think. Around 1 in 6 teenagers engage in self-harm at some point, often starting between ages 12 and 14.

Why Do Teens Self-Harm?

Some reasons include:

• Mental health struggles (e.g. anxiety, depression)
• Family conflict, bullying, or school stress
• Difficulty managing emotions or expressing pain
• Influence from social media or peer pressure

For some teens, cutting offers temporary relief from emotional turmoil. But that relief can quickly become a harmful habit.

How Can You Tell if a Teen Is Self-Harming?

Look out for:

• Unexplained cuts or scars, especially on arms, thighs, or stomach
• Always wearing long sleeves, even in hot weather
• Isolation, mood swings, or sudden changes in behaviour
• Sharp objects going missing around the house

Is Self-Harm Linked to Suicide?

While not always, self-harm can be a warning sign. Teens who harm themselves are more likely to attempt suicide in the future. That’s why it’s vital not to dismiss the behaviour or ignore the signs.

As a Parent, What Can You Do?

In many Nigerian homes, discussing mental health is still a challenge. But silence and shame only push children further away. Here’s how to approach it:

• Start the conversation gently. Ask how they’re feeling — not just what they’re doing.
• Avoid shouting or blaming. Stay calm, even if it’s hard.
• Let them know you’re there for them — and that they’re not in trouble.
• Break the secrecy. Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult or counsellor.

Where to Get Help in the UK

The UK has mental health resources many Nigerian parents may not be familiar with:

• GP/Family Doctor: Your first stop. They can refer your child to mental health specialists.
• CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services): Free NHS service for under-18s.
• School Counsellors or Pastoral Care Teams: Trained staff can support your child.
• Private Therapy Options: CBT and DBT are proven therapies for self-harm.

In crisis, go to A&E (Accident & Emergency) if you’re worried about your child’s safety.

Final Thoughts for the Naija UK Community

It’s okay to feel shocked, hurt, or confused. But it’s more important to act with love and knowledge. Self-harm is not a sign of failure in parenting — it’s a signal that your child needs help processing something deeper.

Let’s support each other in breaking the silence around mental health — and raising strong, emotionally healthy children in the UK.

🟩 Need support?

• Call NHS 111 (non-emergency help)
• Call 999 or visit A&E in an emergency
• Reach out to YoungMinds UK: youngminds.org.uk