Many of us left Nigeria to build better lives in the UK — more opportunities, better pay, and a sense of progress. But have you ever stopped to ask: Who are you when the job title disappears?
Imagine walking into a room where nobody knows you’re an accountant, NHS nurse, Uber driver, project manager, or tech professional. They don’t know about your degrees or how hard you’ve hustled. Who are you in that room?
For a lot of us, that question feels uncomfortable — even scary. But it’s a question we can’t keep ignoring.
When Your Job Owns You
In our Nigerian community, work is more than a paycheck — it’s a badge of honour. Back home, many of us grew up hearing, “What do you do?” as the first question at any gathering. It’s no surprise that when we lose that job, we feel like we’ve lost ourselves.
Psychologist Carl Jung described the masks we wear to navigate life. For us, our profession is often the biggest mask. Strip it away, and we’re forced to confront what’s underneath — our true self.
Sociologist Erving Goffman called it “role engulfment” — when one role swallows our whole identity. If you let your job define you, losing it can feel like your entire world has crumbled.
If Your Job Defines You, Losing It Can Break You
It’s one thing to lose money or routine. But deeper than that, you lose the story you’ve told yourself — “I’m important because of what I do.”
If this is you, you’re not alone. It’s common for us Nigerians in the UK to tie our sense of worth to our hustle. But here’s a tough truth: your job was never your purpose.
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl taught that real purpose isn’t about what you do — it’s about why you do it. You can change jobs a hundred times, but if you don’t know your deeper why, the emptiness follows you.
Your Job Isn’t Your Purpose — Let’s Stop Pretending
Ernest Hemingway said, “A man can be destroyed but not defeated.” But what happens when you’re the one doing the destroying — tying your identity to a role that could vanish tomorrow?
Losing a job can actually be a blessing in disguise — a nudge to find out who you are without the uniform, the office badge, or the shift rota.
Strip Away the Title — What’s Left?
Let’s flip the script. Instead of seeing job loss as a dead end, think of it as a fresh start — a chance to reconnect with the parts of you that got buried under your hustle.
1. Step Into the Discomfort
Like Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart.” Sit with the discomfort. Ask yourself:
- What do I love beyond work?
- What lights me up, even when nobody’s watching?
Don’t rush to fill the void with just any job. Let your heart speak first.
2. Reclaim Your ‘Why’
Simon Sinek’s Start With Why teaches that fulfillment comes from understanding your deeper purpose. Maybe your job in the NHS, tech, or delivery driving was just one way to live that purpose. Now you get to find new ways.
3. Experiment Without Fear
Philosopher Alain de Botton said, “A good half of the art of living is resilience.” Maybe you used to love writing, cooking, or mentoring. Pick one thing and try it again. Small steps matter. Perfection isn’t the goal — curiosity is.
How Do You Do This? A Simple Roadmap
🗂️ 1. Confront the Void
- Journal your feelings.
- Talk to other Nigerians in the UK who’ve faced redundancy or career change.
- Let yourself grieve, but don’t stay there forever.
🔍 2. Explore What Matters
- What did you love before your career swallowed you?
- What would you do even if nobody clapped for you?
- What feels meaningful when you’re alone?
Viktor Frankl believed that meaning isn’t found — it’s created. You’re not discovering an old identity. You’re building a new one.
🏗️ 3. Rebuild Your Story
- Volunteer.
- Learn something new.
- Start a passion project — even if it’s small.
These actions aren’t about replacing your old self. They’re about discovering who you’re becoming.
💪🏾 4. Integrate and Grow
Over time, you’ll realise you’re so much more than what you do for money. You’re your values, your faith, your relationships, your community spirit. The Naija in you is resilient — and your identity is bigger than any payslip.
Science Agrees: You’re Not Stuck
Neuroscience says your brain rewires itself through new experiences. Every small step you take — from journaling to trying a new hobby — helps reshape how you see yourself. This isn’t fluff. It’s your biology working for you.
Don’t Let a Job Loss Define Your Life
Many of us rush to find a new job just to silence the fear. But if you don’t redefine your identity, you might end up with the same empty feeling in a different role.
Ask yourself:
- What kind of life do I want to build, beyond the payslip?
- What stories do I want my kids to hear about who I am?
Your job is what you do. It was never all you were.
Your Next Step: Rewrite Your Story
When someone asks, “What do you do?” take a deep breath and remember: you are more than a title.
Pause today and reflect:
- What parts of me have I ignored while chasing work?
- What lights me up that I can explore today?
- Who am I becoming?
You don’t have to have all the answers. But asking these questions means you’re on the journey — and that’s where your true freedom begins.
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