Motherhood is beautiful, but let’s be honest — it’s hard work!
Whether you’re a full-time mum, a career mum balancing work and home life, a mum of one, or managing an entire football team of kids, you can experience what’s called mom burnout. And living in the UK, without the usual “village” support from back home, can make it even tougher.
Here’s what mom burnout looks like, why it happens, and how you, as a Nigerian mum in the UK, can avoid reaching your breaking point.
What is Mom Burnout?
Dr Sheryl Ziegler, psychologist and author of Mommy Burnout, describes it as emotional and physical exhaustion from the constant demands of parenting. It’s when you always feel tired (even after sleep), lose your motivation, and start running on empty.
Importantly, burnout is not exactly the same as depression — but if left unchecked, it can lead to deeper mental health struggles.
In the UK, there’s growing awareness of mental health, but once the baby blues phase passes, many mums feel the pressure to just “get on with it.” Especially for Nigerian mums who are expected to “be strong,” the temptation is to bottle it all up.
But mama, your well-being matters too! 💛
5 Practical Ways to Avoid Burnout
1. Build Your UK Support Network 🤝
It’s true — “it takes a village to raise a child.” In Nigeria, we often had aunties, neighbours, and family to help. Here in the UK, it’s important to create your own village.
- Connect with other Nigerian parents through groups like Naija UK Connect or community churches and mosques.
- Don’t be shy to greet fellow mums at the school gates, playgrounds, or local events.
- Join online WhatsApp or Facebook groups for Nigerian families in your city.
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak — it makes you wise.
2. Make Self-Care a Non-Negotiable ✨
As Nigerian women, we’re often taught to put ourselves last — but you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive! Think simple:
- Enjoy a long soak in the bath (light candles, play Naija gospel or afrobeats 🎶).
- Take a walk in the park and enjoy the fresh British spring air.
- Sit in the sun with a good book while the kids are at school.
- Hide and eat that chocolate you bought from Aldi or Asda 😂.
Even blocking out 15-20 minutes a day just for you can make a world of difference.
Also, consider taking social media breaks. Stop comparing your real life to Instagram perfection — your journey is uniquely yours.
3. Prioritise Couple Time ❤️
If you have a partner, make time for each other outside of the children’s needs.
Date nights don’t have to cost £100!
- Cook a Nigerian meal together at home.
- Watch a Nollywood movie.
- Play old-school music and dance in your living room.
The key is connection, not extravagance.
Strong relationships create a supportive environment that benefits the entire family.
4. Learn to Say “No” 🚫
In Nigerian culture, there’s a strong push to say “yes” to everything — parties, family demands, church activities. But overcommitting is a straight road to burnout.
You’re allowed to say “No” respectfully:
- No to extra volunteering when you’re tired.
- No to endless WhatsApp group drama.
- No to commitments that stretch you too thin.
It’s okay if people are disappointed — protecting your peace is more important.
5. Recognise Your Stress Triggers and Act Early 🧠
Pay attention to the things that drain you daily:
- Is it always rushing to school runs without prepping the night before?
- Is it unrealistic house chores you’re doing all by yourself?
Small changes — like prepping school lunches ahead, or assigning light chores to kids — add up to better mental health.
Show your kids that looking after yourself is important — they are watching, learning, and will follow your example.
Final Thoughts ❤️
Motherhood can sometimes feel isolating — especially raising kids far from home — but you are doing amazing.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you need care, rest, and support.
Stay connected, stay gentle with yourself, and remember — a happy, healthy mum is a blessing to her children.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out:
- Your GP (doctor) can offer support or mental health referrals.
- Organisations like Mind UK and Home-Start offer free help for parents.
- And of course, Naija UK Connect is here to uplift and support you! 💛
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