Parenthood is more than just providing food, shelter, and education—it’s soul work. It’s about nurturing the next generation with wisdom, love, and structure. But it’s also about something deeper and quieter: forgiving the last generation.
As Nigerian parents raising children in the UK, we often find ourselves navigating two worlds—our rich cultural heritage and the demands of modern British society. We want our children to grow up with strong values, respect for elders, and a deep sense of identity. But we’re also learning to unlearn some of the rigid parenting norms we grew up with—norms that may have caused us pain, even if they were well-intentioned.
In our quiet moments, we reflect: “Why did my parents act the way they did?”
And sometimes, with that reflection comes understanding… and then forgiveness.
Parenting in a new land brings new tools. Therapy isn’t taboo anymore. Emotional intelligence is a skill we’re learning to develop and pass on. Many of us are choosing to raise our children with openness, not just obedience; with empathy, not just expectation. That’s powerful.
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.
The truth is, children need love the most when their actions make it hardest to give. In moments of anger, defiance, or mistakes, unconditional love helps them feel secure, valued, and understood. It teaches compassion, builds trust, and shows that love isn’t earned by perfection—but given freely, especially when they struggle the most.
This journey of raising children becomes healing when we break harmful cycles with intention. When we allow hugs to replace harshness. When we explain instead of just enforce. When we listen as much as we lead.
It’s not easy. Sometimes the pressure of work, immigration challenges, or even isolation in the diaspora can make patience run thin. But every time we choose connection over control, we heal something within ourselves—and that’s the beauty of generational transformation.
To every Nigerian parent here in the UK: you’re not just raising children. You’re writing a new story—one of grace, strength, and redemption.
Keep going. Your impact echoes beyond what you can see. 💚
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